What a winter! It kicked my ass and I am talking about more than just the weather!
As I continued to build my practice and plant new seeds for the Spring, I was taken to this place where I started to question who I thought I was to think that I was making a difference in the world. What rights did I have to actually be following my dream? Why should I continue when those closest to me don't understand what I do?
Why was I feeling so miserable when I had not only found my purpose but was actually doing what I love? What was all of this insecurity? Where was all of this self-doubt and judgment coming from and why now?
There were moments when I was filled with sadness, overwhelmed with rage or down for the count, paralyzed with fear and thinking the worst.
And that's when I remembered... My path into this work came about as a result of my experience with postpartum depression. It left me feeling cracked, but in my ascent out of it I realized that I wasn't broken but, broken open. I experienced a rawness during that time that made me feel on the edge of who I was. It brought me to the place of asking "Who Am I?" and as I am sure most of you are aware, it is with that question that the seed within you is activated. For me, birthing my son activated birthing myself and as a result, I ditched a life that never resonated with me and stand before you a coach, a woman who empowers other women to live fully-expressed.
But in order to get here, to this day, I have had to deal with the dirt that gets pushed up before the bud can unfurl. The dirt, my dirt after the birth of my son was the silent shame of postpartum: there was no joy, just survival, self-judgment and the anger I felt against myself for not being who I thought I should be.
I carried this like a weight, a punishment of sorts.
And I realized that this past winter, the same process snuck up on me and once again, I am in a place where I am in gratitude for the process. When you plant a seed, the first thing to come up is dirt. If we could only remember it when it is happening, we would remember that what lies beneath, waiting to blossom, is always worth getting a little dirty.
And the bud, the beautiful bud for me this past winter was realizing that in addition to helping the women I currently serve, I can also powerfully help women experiencing postpartum not only make it through it, but make it through, transformed and empowered as women!
As I expanded my practice, I had to deal with the dirt that was coming up about my value, my worthiness to live my dream and my belief in myself. In order to step into this expanded vision, I had to become the person who could hold it and that required breaking through the dirt first and shedding all that no longer served me.
What's your dirt? What are you working through that seems so endless and hopeless or is keeping you stuck and feeling trapped?
What would it be like if you could accept what comes up as a clearing, a release, a letting go of what no longer serves you, as a way to create the space and expand your capacity to hold this amazing vision you have for yourself?
I know that transitions can be tough and I also know that walking through any transition successfully requires that you know your tribe, your group of supporters. It requires tools that will help you discern the truth from the negative beliefs that hold you back. It requires clarity in your vision and what you are working toward. It requires knowing why you want what you want. It requires a level of commitment to yourself that comes more powerfully when accountability is involved.
In honor of Spring and "rebirth", I wanted to let you all know that I am going to be running a "Spring Clearing" promotion later this week. It will be a specially priced kickstart package of 3 one-on-one sessions with me where we work towards creating clarity, setting intentions, removing blocks and creating space to take small but powerful steps towards creating a more aligned and fully-expressed version of you. Please keep a look out and take advantage of following the rhythm of nature. The time to Spring is now!
Love and light,